At seminar, Kriss Kringles learn tricks of their magical trade
12:00 AM CDT on Sunday, June 24, 2007
In the bright heat of June with Christmas Eve a full six months away, Santa is already preparing for his big day.
Of course, it's a very big job.
At a small meeting room at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Dallas, 16 Santas and a handful of Mrs. Clauses brushed up on their very special trade in what amounts to two days of graduate-level education for the North Pole crowd.
"Behind the Red Suit – the Business of Santa" covers everything from proper attitude – "Your job is creating happiness" – to tips and techniques for twirling a mustache and filling out a beard that could help those who are a bit thinner than the average Santa.
The living, breathing example of Santa-hood leading the seminar is Santa Tim – Tim Connaghan, chancellor of the International University of Santa Claus and president of the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas.
Santa Tim, resplendent in bright red pants, red shoes, red belt with an "S" belt buckle and red-and-white-striped shirt, takes this show on the road for much of the year, imparting the latest dos and don'ts in an ever-shifting Christmas landscape.
"The man in the suit, the hat, isn't just a rotund guy with a beard," he said. "You must have something special as a Santa, something deep inside, a special love of children.
"If you don't, they'll know."
Most of all, being Santa is a never-ending job.
Thinking of making a quick trip to the local builders' warehouse after cutting the lawn? Santa Tim advises his colleagues to clean up a little first, pull on a clean T-shirt, maybe a cap, because "any kids who see you will think, 'Is that Santa?' "
There's a whole bagful of responsibility to carry around. It isn't easy being Santa.
Consider the prickly issue of "Merry Christmas." For years, it was Santa's staple. But in an increasingly diverse society, mall operators worry that "Merry Christmas," with its Christian connotations, might offend.
"Here's my best advice," Santa Tim said. "If someone says 'Merry Christmas' to you, say it back to them. Otherwise, say 'Season's greetings' or 'Happy holidays.' "
And speaking of speaking, Santas need to watch their ho-ho-ho's.
A booming greeting as Santa strolls through the mall is one thing. But when a child approaches, lower the volume, he advised.
Santa faces challenges that other holiday figures – the Easter Bunny, for example – don't.
Santa, after all, knows everything, including the names of the children climbing onto his lap. So assistants must be trained to announce each child. That way, Santa can simply reply, "It's wonderful to see you again."
As for the don'ts, well, Santa Tim had quite a list.
Don't deny a child, a la Ralphie in A Christmas Story, who blurted out his desire for a Red Ryder BB gun only to hear, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid."
Never correct or reprimand a child, no matter how much a harried mom or dad might appreciate it.
Never flirt, never smoke, never drink.
And never, ever promise a gift, Santa Tim said, even if you see Mom nodding affirmatively from the corner of your eye.
"If they haven't bought it yet and the store sells out before they get it, guess who the bad guy is?"
Santas like Marshall Priest of Waskom, Texas, who works at a Bass Pro Shop in nearby Bossier City, La., hear incredible requests, like the one from a 3-year-old who wanted a shotgun.
But they also receive loads of love.
"Nothing makes you feel better than having one of these little ones throw their arms out and hug you," said Jerry Turner of Littleton, Colo.
Mostly, being Santa means bringing joy, and finding it.
Even a few unexpected delays couldn't dampen that.
When Santa Tim asked if the Santas wanted to stay until 6 p.m. Saturday to cover the course load, no one balked.
"We can stay until 9," said Gerald Roberts of Dallas. "This is great!
"I haven't had this much fun since last Christmas!"
Posted by Bernadette Dimitrov Christmas Author www.HoHoHoChristmas.com
Podcast Host 'Conversations with Mrs Claus www.TheFamilyYak.com
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